im a bish and the ex is a dummy.

so my ex-boyfriend Doug is not the sharpest tool in the shed. this would be okay if it were not for the fact that he is CONVINCED he is a grade A smarty pants. i will shine some light on this just to give you some back ground of the story I'm about to tell ya.

when i was setting up our front room i randomly thought out loud "man what we really need in here is an ottoman. put your feet up and chill." at this point he says "what the chrippity crap is an auto man?" i reply calmly (because there is no reason for boys to know such things) " its a foot stool. sorta its also something to sit on"

"so why didn't you just say footstool?"

"becaaaaause i meant ottoman."

"that's not a real word. it doesn't sound like a real thing your just saying things to make yourself sound smart. but your not"

to say the very least we got in a fight.

and for 6 months after that he would ask all of his dumb ass friends "have you ever heard of an ottoman?" to which the stoners would reply "like..no man wtf is that?"
and i would get the *see i knew i was right look* then would go on a rant about how i (the dumb ass girlfriend) was making up words blah blah blah

(the same situation arose when i said 'trebuchet') what can i say I'm a bish who loves to make up words.

i obviously can not go through how many of my every day vocabulary words got dumbed down so my boyfriend could understand/ i didn't want to get in a fight ever three seconds about weather it was necessary to use words over 3 syllables. you will have to forgive me for not always finding common colloquialisms good enough to get whatever my point is across.

ANYWAYS onto the present. and me and said man have been broken up for 6 months. *weee!* i have a short convo with him about something he owes me (like i will ever see that again) and he says "don't worry I'm going to have a tun of money in the new year"

and I'm all O really? Do tell!....apparently he owns 20% of a privet plane company. and he only had to give a few thousand dollars. but once the business gets off the ground he will be a millionaire! and he wont have to do any work (AT ALL!) to get that money! *side note. a few thousand is actually a FANTASTIC deal for 20% of a company.*

someone approached him with an "excellent business prop"...and the only reason they needed his money (because this person was a millionaire) was that all his money was locked up in stocks and bonds and CDs. and with just this tiny investment Doug will get his money back a million fold. (sweeet).....is it only me or have you seen this exact thing on 20/20 a thousand times?

so i calmly (and only snickering a little) told him he has been had. to which he replies " no way, i have seen the planes" that changes things "yea he showed me pictures"....wtf really? here let me show you this pic of my Lamborghini its flippin sweet and yea i totally own it. what you don't believe me? huh. i bet he would have fallen for it.

and i was told. "he also has a web sight".

well point proven.

its real! it has to be.

and I'm a sarcastic Bish.