for only a million dollars i could have a new house.
a new beautiful house....now i know your like, this is not that impressive.
Oh. But wait,theres more.



......


i could eat my lucky charms with a mother effin unicorn.
oh my lord.
*squeek*
quick someone give me a million bucks so i can have a pretty pony!

what happens when they catch it?

often i wonder what a dog would do if they actually caught one of the cars they chased....apparently eat it.
my mother hates pit bulls. so i know she would be first in line to say they ought to have put this dog down for showing such aggressive behavior.

i for one think the dog was playing. however with such strong jaws a bull mixs play is more of a destroying everything around it.

i think its the same way with people who have tigers as pets (Texas is a big game state so we are allowed to own big cats etc..)
a tiger plays just like a house cat. when over worked your cat might accidentaly claw you or nip your hand. imagine your house cat weighing as much as your car and then doing that...yep. no bueno.



no bueno Winston...no bueno

movies i didnt know i wanted to see.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

holy rape monkeys.
For those that have read the Scott Pilgrim comics,(neither have i...Fail) aperently this is a very true translation of comic to film. again that is meaningless to me...what with me never reading the comics. Once again im happy face to see Michael Cera who i enjoy as an actor, even though he dose not have the smexy body i usually apreicaite from male leads.



for serious when the onimonipias came up i almost exploded.

Mr.Pickles is sitting pretty

i love my dog.
but she lives outside.
because...shes a dog,and also because she gets in the trash / chews on the couch.
so perhaps im not the market for this beautiful dog high chair.
Let me blow your mind real quick.
this high chair costs about 50 bucks. and

“promotes more refined behavior”.

You know what my doggie would do? she would climb out of that little sack and suck everything off the table like a mini hoover.
....the moral of the story is, I have a bad dog.
*sigh*

now thats how you say "I love you."

Bacon Bouquet is definitely the way into my heart...and arteries. i wasn't using them anyways. i mean how much blood do i REALLY need rushing through my body? i say none.

so if your girlfriend dose not have exactly the right amount of cellulite on her butt. surprise her with this! and don't forget to dip it in Lard so it glistens.
:D
*yummers*

sorry dewds.

I know that the greater number of people who read my blog are Guys (eh,,,i mean Nigerians) Anywho i feel bad that my posts are a vag fest, yall need to be represented as well. Viva la Testicals!


for the betterment of your body... touch yourself in the shower.
Its important.


and akward.


....


right then Back to the Vag fest.

guess who has been shopping online again?

while my house is getting set up, I'm staying at my parents house.
#1- they don't have a coffee table
#2- if they did have one, they would not care if you put your glass directly on it( crazy horse i know!)


however a coffee table lives in my house, and if my jack ass ex didn't paint it.i would prolly care if someone put there glass on it.
and i would use these.
because they make me feel all Dr.Horrible. "with this giant glass and the power of condensation I'm going to flood the city!...unless you give me one Ba-jillion dollars and a foot rub! Bwahahahahahah!!!!"
*fear me*

"A drop of water can turn into a flood on this micro-city coaster. Here, the city of Taipei, Taiwan is resized into a cup pad.

Condensation from the cup can slowly flood the city especially during hot summer seasons. The water will first fill up the river and slowly work its way into the narrower streets and alleys."

Apparently its also supposed to remind us the importance of water as a resource. so while your drinking your ice cold lemonade its going to guilt you into taking shorter showers....Thanks alot coaster! i now feel horrible about washing my hair twice. :( <---see that emocon? THAT'S MY FACE! *pout*

..

i would make a horrible evil guy, if a coaster is making such and impact on me....*sob*

Right so you can buy this coaster of doom at mollaspace you get two costers for twelve bucks... i would want a set of 6 honestly. you know and each one be another major city. all New York, London Ect... how fun would that be???




The perfect solution for all your instant pocket needs! The 3½” x 4”, 100% cotton self-adhesive Instant Pocket will ensure that you never go pocketless again. do you know how many times i'm walking around ,thinking to myself DAMN i sure do wish i had a pocket RIGHT NOW! not haveing one makes me cry.
Now heres the thing. let me try and use some logic on you.
where would you get this? i mean your out walking around when you discover you need a pocket. so you reach into your pocket to pull out your instant pocket....AHHHHHHH!
unless you walk around every day (in your pocketless dress) carrying an instant pocket in you hand.

i for one just stick everything in my bra. it makes for sexy time when you pull your credit card out infront of the clerk guy.

and for todays, your kidding right??

Rear Gear Covers Your Pet’s Butt


(oh sweet jebus)

"No more Mr. Brown Eye! Rear Gear is a solution to hide your dog or cat’s unsightly rear end. It’s basically a small image on paper that’s attached to a string that hangs on your pet’s tail. There’s many different designs to fit your pet’s butt mood that day- disco ball, heart, air freshener, biohazard, smiley face, cupcake, number one ribbon, sheriff’s badge, dice, flower."

end me now. seriously.




all handmade by the crazy ass lady in the picture above.
for 5bucks you can buy your doggie some dignity.of course everyone who sees your animal with a daisy hanging from its tail is going to think your crazy.
i think your crazy for even contemplating this madness.

OMG! what is with all these animals walking around NAAAAKIED~

now is the time when we dance.

friggin song has been stuck in my head all day. im going on a LUDO binge,
this and love me dead.
"your body is my coffin"

see more Lol Celebs
when i make that face, im thinking about what i would do if i woke up one morning as a hampster...how happy would i be if i had a cracker? *nom nom nom* im never that happy about crackers now, but im sure post hampster(ization) i would be more than excited about the chance to chew on the corner of a cracker.