Book to the hook

Okay so a wrote a book.
For reals yall and by "yall" i mean 'no one'
but I'm at the point in my life where i want to get that shizz published.
Its prolly a huge pile of shite. but i want it in some teenagers hands.
I want to sell signed copies in my store with a 2$up charge.
heck yes is what i say.
Tomorrow Im going to send it out to the very first person on my list of Book Agents.
I look forward to the "we dont want your damn book" letter in the mail 10 weeks from now. Now all i have to do is print out the first 50 pages, also known as a dead baby tree.

I could email it to them, but paper seems more legit.
any one else worried how im single handed destroying the environment?