The Cult Leader: This is why im alone

So I posted a thingy on CL. If you dont know what CL is then you prolly have social skills or never needed a free couch. CL is Craigs List.

so per usual I Posted a witty and strange i need a boyfriend
add. with some pictures of me dressed as captin america.
and again per usual I recived about 108 replies.
but I can promis i will only get about 5 dates out of the whole deal. after I weed out the bots, and the creepers...oh lord there are a LOT of creepers.
I start talking to these poor boys who dont know what they have gotten themselves into.
Here is one of my responces to one of the nice boys.

"I tried sleeping on a heating pad once, that was as close as i'm going to get to sleeping in fire. 3rd degree burns are never yummy. unless you are a cannibal. In which case that's sort of just the preemptive to an awesome BBQ.

also. don't be a cannibal.

I'm sure i taste terrible. I drink tea all day and eat weird foods.

WHY DO YOU WANT TO EAT MY FACE!?!?!?

>_<

I always just assume my Kidneys are in danger of being stolen.

one day when i wake up in a tub of ice i shall be prepared.

I think i would be prepared if i were the kidney stealer as I have given this much thought.

I would get the room across from the ice machine. I dont think enough potential body part theives think that part of the plan through. I DO NOT want to be hauling ice up the stairs a million times in a tiny bucket.

....I don't steal body parts just so you know."